NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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