There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
