you guys were way drunker than both of me
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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