so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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