do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
