Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
