New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
