Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
