So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
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I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
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What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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