I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
