You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
