So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
