I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
