We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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