He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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