whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
