Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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