right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
