I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
