I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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