who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize