you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
3 2 1 whiskey
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
