I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
