Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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