Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
