bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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