please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
