Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sex in the backyard? Check.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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