He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
