you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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