yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize