conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
