I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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