Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
