dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
