Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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