I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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