You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
