I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he thought i was a dude.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize