Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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