just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
