My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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