im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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