When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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