whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
