i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
