Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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