Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
