All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
