Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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