alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
