Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
