these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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