i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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