what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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