I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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