We're facebook friends in real life
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
