We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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