I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
