is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
